Conversationitis

I've had one of those days where I'm slamming head directly into the wall of motherhood.  Don't get me wrong, I had an enchanted day with my girl - at an Earth Day celebration, at breakfast, while enjoying a picnic lunch, watching her roam a grassy knoll swinging her net at butterflies, and gardening with her.  It wasn't those moments, but the ones where she talked..and talked..and dominated conversations..and continued.  At times I felt like the Grinch ("oh the noise!") and at others I sat there beating myself up mentally for not absorbing her adorable stories.  I know, we all have moments and that's why I'm here banging it out on my keyboard.


When my father talks to much I try to combat the chatter by being quiet - as if my silence has an ability to negate noise or balance the quota of words flinging through the air.  Ben found us girls out in the patio while I was training my mother's climbing rose along our fence.


Ben: "Hi!"  
Me: "Hey" (not breaking my stride)
We are momentarily quiet, drowned out by the constant chatter from Alex and her stuffed animal Greenie.
Ben: "You in a bad mood?"
Jen: "You know how I try to counteract noise with silence?"
He looks at her,  and figures out quickly why I'm quiet and laughs. He turns around to go back in.
Jen: "By the way, you're on tonight.  I'm going out by myself for one hour."


By the time I left tonight, Ben had Alex in bed and was trying to tell her stories to get her settled. She was still verbally bouncing off the walls, which made her physically kick herself out of the covers again and again.  He looked at me and whispered "Oh My God!"  For a hot moment, I misplaced the keys and sent a text to a friend saying that I was screwed.  She knew my pain, seeing that she just returned from an hour of silent solo shopping.   Having wine at her house was option #2.


I secured my keys within 2 minutes, headed out the door, and called my dear girl Karen in Indonesia.  I told her about my stress, the talking, the noise, my lack of appreciation, and I was informed that Alex was suffering from "conversationitis".  Karen laughed at me and informed me that it happens when kids think that they finally get the whole conversation bit and will have one with our without your participation.  Lovely.  Well, at least there's a name for it.  Thanks Karen for the education. Moving on.


::
Easter was a rocking.  

We had multiple egg hunts, grandparents, and handmade dresses to name a few of the highlights.

Alex would say that the dress I made for her was the best part.

The material was a seersucker weight material covered in a random bright floral.  The bodice in this pattern won me over with it's petal detailing and material flower accent.  And I finished the inside with a pink lining just because. I am reminded every time I complete a big project that I able.  Zipper, no zipper - I got it - and I have a sense of humor and a sharp seam ripper just in case.  Thanks Mom for giving me the skills and the confidence. 

And as for Alex, I sense that she knows that handmade is special and that I love her with every stitch.  It's the one time when I feel she's an old soul and just knows that it takes a lot of love.  And it does.  And I do love her so.


And even though I do have moments like today where I'm suffering, the are just that - a lapse in time and not a defining moment.


Alex is growing so quickly these days - and it's not just the matter of filling her drawers with larger sizes.  No, it's the look.  

She's maturing.  I see it in her face. 

 Her look is of a girl, a kid.  

Not so little.  

Instead of running like an etherial fairy (with a little hop included), Alex can sprint along like one of the boys. She flits, she flees, she flies. 


See, I needed this.  I love her so.  Regardless of the noise. - J

Altitude

March came in like a lamb, setting foot into an endless pasture and marking the end of a winter without snow. A lack of snow leads children to make angels in the sand if nothing else.

And somehow its early arrival and unseasonable warmth amplified my sentiments and passion for life.  

The growth and rebirth of the earth inspires me to the core. I miss the bluest of skies filled with clouds that shift shapes. I cherish endless bouquets of dandelions and buttercups.  And I sense the buzz of the insects, the annoyance of ants, & the smell of fresh cut grass as I turn the soil; setting seeds and plans for the coming season. 

My heart and soul truly ache from the pleasure of living in this moment, and I am acutely aware of the blessings of my life.  I enjoy the now for what it is.

::

Due to a myriad of reasons, work has been a task and hooky more so a privilege. And in the middle of it all, I took off a day to spend with my best friend.  Our children played.  We shared company at a slower pace, and set the first picnic of many to come.  And Nate in all of his innocence is now a boy.

Nate's long distance sprint back to Mama stirred a monster within Alex.  Her just-born competitive streak drove her to cream the little boy who didn't have a clue.  And I am left amazed that my etherial fairy who needs to be instructed 4 or 5 times to complete a task has a ruthless drive.  Maybe there's a sense of focus deep inside her after all.

::

I was reminded once again that giving young children space to play at a birthday party is all they need; so a local park and an accessible toilet make great partners. As expected, Alex started her adventure at the swings - I think she uses the swings as a way of psyching-up for massive activity.

But my favorite part was the jungle gym encompassed in a massive sand box.  

The park was located in Arlington, Virginia and Nancy and I planned to walk our children post-celebration around the title basin to savor the blooming Cherry trees; but 4 hours of play proved that even the best of kids can be too tired to sit gracefully without complaint.

::

I will be back in a few days to share my creativity and inspiration generated from this season.  For now, here's wishing you all a happy Easter and a wonderful spring.

Such Singing in the Wild Branches (2003)

It was spring
and finally I heard him
among the first leaves—
then I saw him clutching the limb

in an island of shade
with his red-brown feathers
all trim and neat for the new year.
First, I stood still

and thought of nothing.
Then I began to listen.
Then I was filled with gladness—
and that's when it happened,

when I seemed to float,
to be, myself, a wing or a tree—
and I began to understand
what the bird was saying,

and the sands in the glass
stopped
for a pure white moment
while gravity sprinkled upward

like rain, rising,
and in fact
it became difficult to tell just what it was that was singing—
it was the thrush for sure, but it seemed

not a single thrush, but himself, and all his brothers,
and also the trees around them,
as well as the gliding, long-tailed clouds
in the perfectly blue sky— all, all of them

were singing.
And, of course, yes, so it seemed,
so was I.
Such soft and solemn and perfect music doesn't last

for more than a few moments.
It's one of those magical places wise people
like to talk about.
One of the things they say about it, that is true,

is that, once you've been there,
you're there forever.
Listen, everyone has a chance.
Is it spring, is it morning?

Are there trees near you,
and does your own soul need comforting?
Quick, then— open the door and fly on your heavy feet; the song
may already be drifting away.

— Mary Oliver, "Such Singing in the Wild Branches"
     Owls and Other Fantasies: Poems and Essays,
     Beacon Press, Boston, 2003, pp. 8-9

February Thaw

It hasn't felt much like winter around here since of the last of the Christmas decorations were tucked back into the attic.  Snow has been very rare - snow showers, yes, but sadly no accumulation.  We have skirted cold days hovering in the teens, and mild weather seems to abound; which equates to daffodils blooming in February and to us frolicking barefoot at the beach.  And the only thing that reminds me that it's still winter are the passage of the holidays - MLK, Valentines, St. Pats, and eventually Easter.

The girl is getting so big.  She's sprouting into a long lean silhouette of a 4 year old; gone are the days of the abundant toddler belly.  Her face is lean, her hair is long, and wow, suddenly she's become a master conversationalist.  Last winter, my favorite Alex word was "yesternight" and currently, I love hearing her iterate the word "bratend".  Everything is a big game of pretending to be someone, conversing with her stuffed animals, or reiterating stories for the hundredth time.

I love watching Alex master new tasks.  We can spend an evening cutting paper into tiny pieces.  At some point she starts making up a story about cutting Rapunzel's hair and then she gleefully snips off piece after piece. 
::
Work has been crazy thanks to the lovely seasonal crush, so Valentine's crafts were limited to gifts for school and for Lesa's.  These preprinted valentines were my favorite and so easy.  And when you have to satiate 27 three year olds, giving a collectable little animal lasts much longer than your average sucker. :)

::
My dear, lovely, endlessly talented friend Jana came to visit. 

The weather delivered, El Toro delivered (extra margs on the house!), and even the beach gave us an encore.  The day was intensely long - the equivalent of condensing an entire weekend into less than 12 hours - but it was truly amazing. And Alex and Luci connected for the first time.  

The girls played like children should - unbridled, joyful, boundless.  They were burying themselves in the sand, twirling, spinning, and hunting for treasure. 

::
I wrapped up the month by visiting our family in Pennsylvania.  Aunt Missy hosted a princess tea for the cousins.  And every little detail was infused with love: flower-shaped tea sandwiches, pink-tinted white hot chocolate, and fresh marshmallows.  You could see the love, but all the kids could see was fun.

The cousins had nothing less than a great time, and  days later, Alex randomly moans about missing Maddie and Jude.  She loves them so.  It's all good.
::
And as we headed out of town, we stopped at Longwood Gardens with Christina, Grey, and Gunnar. I forgot how much I miss Longwood since moving to Annapolis.  It's heaven and eye candy wrapped up in one beautifully groomed location.

May I introduce orchids. Floating, cascading, and standing alone.  

And now paired those blooms with a bit of spring.

::
Intertwined within the blossoms and the sweetened air was the children's section.  

To state that it's wonderful, is simply an understatement. 

The display allowed the children to explore, run, and get soaked to the core.  Longwood provided paint brushes for the children to paint the walls, the floors, and the steps with water. Alex was unforgiving with the brush.

Oh my did I love this handrail.  Rrrrr!

If you plan to ever visit, bring an extra set of dry clothing; Alex was soaked and frozen to the core. And if you need to ask, Longwood provides towels as you exit the display. 


Christina's friend Lonny commented that it will be wonderful to see our children grow up together.  And Christina and I just smiled at each other, feeling like we've shared that secret now for years.

::


Happy Spring.  Embrace it.

Hip Hop April

I will admit that I love Spring.  And the buzz.  And the prep for Easter. Warning: sleep deprivation will occur as a result.

Because regardless if your child is 2 or 47, you know that they swell on your wave of love when they receive an extra special gift.  And that appreciation outweighs every minute of lost sleep.  

Hey, if you can survive a newborn, a few hours of lost sleep is nothing! 

Ah, sewing for Baby Naia late into the night.

April seemed like such a wonderful long month.  Maybe because Easter was so late or because Spring temperatures refused to appear. Regardless, it gave us extra time to play.  April Showers bring May Flowers and the most enormous puddles.

Maddie and Jude are growing leaps and bounds.  They are such a team.

And just look at this mug.

::

I love the return of extended evenings filled with delayed dinners, moon bouncing (thanks Missy and Pete!), and warm light.

And the sound of one little girl running away with Daddy chasing close behind.

She cracks me up.

::

I am amazed that Alex can be terrified of the Easter Bunny in the mall-based setting (she prefers to admire him from 30' away). But when she gets to the church event, Alex's defenses dissolve and she conversing with her new BFF.  Yes, she was asked to move along so that others could sit on BR's lap.

Anyone notice the recurring Dorothy outfit?

I appreciate how she can take a moment of washing her hands at the sink and turn it into an adventure. The progression is entertaining, seeing that my child is currently opposed to bath time.

One afternoon I caught her asleep on the couch, appearing to be reading Peter Pan.

But from the other side, she looked more like this.

And Buddy also likes to nap, but sometimes that's dangerous with an alert child.

Don't the potty stickers look nice?

::

Finally Easter arrived. It was a stunning (dry & sunny) day spent with family and close friends.

The girl loves the dog.  And the dog loves the girl.  And the girl was and is happy. 

On Monday morning, Ben found Buddy belly up with Alex draped across his entire body, giving him an enormous bear hug.  I think Buddy finally trusts her.

After an amazing meal at Mark & Shannon's, Shannon was thoughtful enough to give the children one last egg hunt.

For Nate, it was a virgin experience and ultimately less about the thrill of the hunt.

He's darn cute. But then again, so is she.