~this moment~

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. via SouleMama

Key to a Celebration

Around Alex's birthday, we had the opportunity as a family to travel to the Florida Keys to celebrate a friend's wedding.  As a gardener, I was amazed at variety of flora.  

I still can't get over Coconuts dangling from above.  I was in horticultural culture shock.

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We stayed in a resort in Key Largo and had little reason to leave the premises. Beaches, pools, hammocks. Yeah baby.

Alex couldn't get enough of hunting for little salamanders.  

And as you can imagine, we spent plenty of time on the beach.




Looking for sea treasures.

Tossing coconuts in the water.

Discovering new games

Anyone know the name of this game?  And to confirm, Alex did pelt me right in the camera.

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Daddy and the girl.  I love the freedom resulting from her maturity and now I enjoy watching their bond weave tighter.   

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As for the wedding, it was beautiful moment for Nate & Sherri.  (I will admit though that I'm glad that I wasn't wearing a long, hot, fancy dress.  Phew!).  And speaking of dresses, may I introduce the handmade Wendy Darling dress - Alex's one request for her birthday.

Dress made in 5 sleepless evenings. Watch Alex showing-off it's range of motion.

The post ceremony cocktail hour outside with a setting sun, dancing, and a steel band got the night off on the right note.

That evening, Alex found her inner party animal.

The resident preschoolers danced like waves on the ocean.  

So this is what happens when you forget your flash and try to capture a speeding child…ghost-like images!

I sat on the edge of the dance floor and said "boo" over and over to 6 kids as they ran and giggled in circles.  I was the light. They were the silly moths encircling me.


And this is what a party animal looks like the next morning.  Please no paparazzi. 

We spent the remaining time in Florida, driving through the Keys but never quite making it down to Key West.  We are savoring that moment for a future family adventure.

View of the 7 mile bridge from our table at the Sunset Grill. 

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And the best celebration yet was a birthday (and a birth day).  Yes, we invited unicorns to the event and even landed a Mickey Mouse pancake. All because she is 3. I never expected her to be such a person at a young age.  I am fascinated by her maturity and thoughts. And I still savor the moment that I became her mother.

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“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud...and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift." - Shauna Niequist 


Snap. Crackle. Pop. I'm loving it.

Tea for Two

Our decision how to live, how to raise our kids, how to feed our family is a personal conscious activity. Sometimes I get caught up in details and simplicity morphs into a complicated web that snags and frustrates me.  I earnestly remind myself everyday to KISS life…keep is simple silly.  How kids seem to emulate this concept the best.

How about starting with tea for two?

Our full-hearted neighbor Zach begged his mom to host a tea party for Alex on a Sunday afternoon.  I think Zach loves that Alex is finally old enough to keep up with him.

Zach gave her the red carpet treatment.  Rainbow silk, tea cups, dragon tea pot.

She in turn came dressed for the occasion.

May I have a cup with a side of fairy dust?

I love that life can be this simple.  And joy is present without the use of batteries. Thank you Zach.  I love your big heart.

Three.

She is three.

It seems that just yesterday she was days old. Oh how I swim in sweetness while time pushes forward.

I will forever be grateful that she's the one who made me a Mama, who taught me to slow down, who made me savor each bite of life even more. 

 The one who will forever be the first.  My angel. My Budda Baby.  My lollipop.  

A belated post to wish my sweet child a happy birthday. I love you more that the sun and the sky, the stars and the moon, and chocolate and cake. xo

Walking Out of the Woods

I love capturing and reflecting on my half full cup, but then the sting of reality strikes. Accidents happen.  Cups spill.  Life falls out of balance.  In the past two weeks, my shutter has been deathly silent.  I find it hard to think of taking pictures when my daughter is traumatically injured.  On May 2nd, our (formerly) adopted lab Buddy bit Alex seriously across the face.  Sometimes a simple act of love takes you to fields of mines instead of those of gold. We were crushed in so many ways.


I watched my baby sleep bloody and battered, waiting hours for surgery.   I watched Ben crumble to pieces in his personal failure to protect our baby.  I prayed and I tried not to panic, but it's hard to control the fears and the worry that ensue.

Alex the day after, recovering at home, dressed for the occasion.

We were barely home, adjusting to open wounds when the infection forced her back to the hospital 36 hours later.

Alex clasp tightly the flowers given to her by her dear friend Enzo.

Wednesday morning, when Alex slept for 16 hours straight, my instincts told me this adventure was going in the wrong direction.  My gut told me to worry and to take action now.   One thing I am sure of in the past three years is that I trust and listen to my inner mama.  It's strong and sure.   And I've also learned to be my child's advocate.  Ben took Alex over to surgeon's office, who immediately admitted Alex to the pediatric unit to be treated with IV antibiotics. Thank you gut for pushing me.

Wednesday morning, my mama was screaming to do something. This is not normal.

I remember Ben calling me and saying, "Now don't panic, but we are heading back to the hospital." I stayed calm enough to make it through the call.  But as I walked around the house, gathering supplies for the next few days, I realized that we were tumbling deeper in the woods where it's dark and thorny.

By the time I reached the hospital, she was unable to see out her left eye.  Ben refused to move away from her.

We struggled watching our child deflate like a balloon.  And once again, her safety was out of my control and all I could do was love her, pray, and have faith that she would overcome.  I tried to stay positive for her, but the stress was crushing both of us.


The first moment of hope was in the form of a sparkly ballet dress left by our dear friends.  We just returned from a CAT scan (which thankfully confirmed the infection was local), & Alex spotted glittery material peering out from a bag; she sprang from the wheelchair like a cat.

The gift energized her.  It energized us.  And I remember crying through a blanket of tears, watching her twirl in front of the nurses station.  I felt her spirit.  I thought, "She is stronger than this."

Over the next 3 days, we felt the love of our community and our tribe.  So thankful for the nourishment, phone calls, hugs, & shared fears.  Friends helped with errands.  Bosses called only for updates. And we never left Alex's side.


Going home Friday felt like a breath of air, but having my daughter in my arms on Mother's Day felt like the best day of my life.  No act of kindness, card, or gift could take the place of her presence and our bond.  I smelled her hair and her skin, soaking her in like a new born. I must have kissed her a hundred times.


And today, I realize that we are feeling the warmth of the sun and the wind, which is drawing us out the other side of the woods.  And I finally have the strength to talk about it.  It was an experience that frightened us, but by no means defines us. What I'm learning is that even though I see a wound, it's just on the surface.  Alex's spirit is not torn or redefined.  She is stronger and braver than I am.   And accidents happen.

And now we go back to sharing out time with friends, spending time at the beach on a rainy day.  Just being ourselves. Breathing without thinking.  Laughing.  Letting kids be.

And I know that a bottle of color will cover my new grey hairs perfectly, and laughter sometimes is stronger than the best medicine available.  To my tribe, I love you so for holding us up.  

Thanks Karen for forcing me to goof-off like we were 15 and high on cherry slurpees.

Hip Hop April

I will admit that I love Spring.  And the buzz.  And the prep for Easter. Warning: sleep deprivation will occur as a result.

Because regardless if your child is 2 or 47, you know that they swell on your wave of love when they receive an extra special gift.  And that appreciation outweighs every minute of lost sleep.  

Hey, if you can survive a newborn, a few hours of lost sleep is nothing! 

Ah, sewing for Baby Naia late into the night.

April seemed like such a wonderful long month.  Maybe because Easter was so late or because Spring temperatures refused to appear. Regardless, it gave us extra time to play.  April Showers bring May Flowers and the most enormous puddles.

Maddie and Jude are growing leaps and bounds.  They are such a team.

And just look at this mug.

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I love the return of extended evenings filled with delayed dinners, moon bouncing (thanks Missy and Pete!), and warm light.

And the sound of one little girl running away with Daddy chasing close behind.

She cracks me up.

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I am amazed that Alex can be terrified of the Easter Bunny in the mall-based setting (she prefers to admire him from 30' away). But when she gets to the church event, Alex's defenses dissolve and she conversing with her new BFF.  Yes, she was asked to move along so that others could sit on BR's lap.

Anyone notice the recurring Dorothy outfit?

I appreciate how she can take a moment of washing her hands at the sink and turn it into an adventure. The progression is entertaining, seeing that my child is currently opposed to bath time.

One afternoon I caught her asleep on the couch, appearing to be reading Peter Pan.

But from the other side, she looked more like this.

And Buddy also likes to nap, but sometimes that's dangerous with an alert child.

Don't the potty stickers look nice?

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Finally Easter arrived. It was a stunning (dry & sunny) day spent with family and close friends.

The girl loves the dog.  And the dog loves the girl.  And the girl was and is happy. 

On Monday morning, Ben found Buddy belly up with Alex draped across his entire body, giving him an enormous bear hug.  I think Buddy finally trusts her.

After an amazing meal at Mark & Shannon's, Shannon was thoughtful enough to give the children one last egg hunt.

For Nate, it was a virgin experience and ultimately less about the thrill of the hunt.

He's darn cute. But then again, so is she.